Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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