guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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