I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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