I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
