Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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