I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
