I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.