He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We need a shit load of segways right now
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays