sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
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Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
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Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life