Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.

(302): View more from Delaware

I love summer.

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(302): I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week. (302): I love summer. http://tfl.nu/82u6

Replies (13) Good night (4002) Bad night (642)
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(512): View more from Texas

a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart

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(512): a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart http://tfl.nu/j66q

Replies (30) Good night (702) Bad night (2862)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories

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(605): I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories http://tfl.nu/0d8y

Replies (14) Good night (4826) Bad night (736)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I am the drunkest girl in the tree.

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(484): I am the drunkest girl in the tree. http://tfl.nu/zje1

Replies (15) Good night (10625) Bad night (1251)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.

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(978): she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head. http://tfl.nu/uhfs

Replies (7) Good night (4501) Bad night (1151)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.

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(678): I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/5xat

Replies (8) Good night (1516) Bad night (3754)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.

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(773): Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat. http://tfl.nu/qnu6

Replies (31) Good night (4563) Bad night (5448)
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(573): View more from Missouri

i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella

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(573): i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella http://tfl.nu/sjyh

Replies (34) Good night (6354) Bad night (2338)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.

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(908): I think I actually have rug burn on my eye. http://tfl.nu/mvqe

Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (1877)
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(850): View more from Florida

I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.

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(850): I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK. http://tfl.nu/rcbs

Replies (5) Good night (1727) Bad night (744)
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(904): View more from Florida

We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon

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(904): We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon http://tfl.nu/g9lm

Replies (3) Good night (1204) Bad night (494)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it

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(847): Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it http://tfl.nu/xf5x

Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (729)
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(260): View more from Indiana

I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.

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(260): I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business. http://tfl.nu/cc6r

Replies (1) Good night (750) Bad night (394)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

SEX BINGO!

(1-701): View more from North Dakota

Canadian or clown?

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(701): SEX BINGO! (1-701): Canadian or clown? http://tfl.nu/877n

Replies (6) Good night (677) Bad night (377)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.

(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.

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(651): I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant. (715): I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40. http://tfl.nu/ewh2

Replies (3) Good night (784) Bad night (541)

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