Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.

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  (937): I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird. http://tfl.nu/7edr
  Replies (66) Good night (817) Bad night (5205)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.

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  (816): I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding. http://tfl.nu/1j8r
  Replies (12) Good night (1364) Bad night (4884)
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  (818): View more from California

  remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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  (818): remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it, (702): Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch. http://tfl.nu/x8zx
  Replies (116) Good night (6611) Bad night (12321)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.

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  (316): I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8zh1
  Replies (41) Good night (5977) Bad night (1704)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow

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  (443): please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow http://tfl.nu/myf2
  Replies (10) Good night (4143) Bad night (1135)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.

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  (732): You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you. http://tfl.nu/wi1w
  Replies (7) Good night (3578) Bad night (1712)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number

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  (509): God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number http://tfl.nu/k3zo
  Replies (5) Good night (2153) Bad night (1146)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon

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  (708): I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon http://tfl.nu/l3g6
  Replies (2) Good night (1190) Bad night (606)
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  (631): View more from New York

  We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts

  (1-631): View more from New York

  Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?

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  (631): We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts (1-631): Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships? http://tfl.nu/5hoq
  Replies (19) Good night (2208) Bad night (1453)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous

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  (610): I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous http://tfl.nu/uqnx
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (1134)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.

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  (205): Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up. http://tfl.nu/igo8
  Replies (6) Good night (2495) Bad night (619)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.

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  (330): I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one. http://tfl.nu/be90
  Replies (3) Good night (615) Bad night (1412)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger

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  (314): I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger http://tfl.nu/k75x
  Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (668)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?

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  (313): Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing? http://tfl.nu/tcaq
  Replies (4) Good night (751) Bad night (674)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.

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  (604): Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break. http://tfl.nu/w4c5
  Replies (0) Good night (417) Bad night (258)

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