fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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