My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.