Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.

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  (713): I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat. http://tfl.nu/0mmi
  Replies (8) Good night (660) Bad night (2241)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.

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  (541): Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big. http://tfl.nu/ayxp
  Replies (39) Good night (634) Bad night (4948)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.

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  (407): It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest. http://tfl.nu/ndz5
  Replies (52) Good night (16145) Bad night (1066)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...

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  (713): You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong... http://tfl.nu/oapp
  Replies (30) Good night (4345) Bad night (591)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.

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  (201): Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable. http://tfl.nu/oy8s
  Replies (27) Good night (5375) Bad night (880)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.

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  (708): So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive. http://tfl.nu/w5b0
  Replies (22) Good night (3232) Bad night (5791)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30

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  (615): It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30 http://tfl.nu/ukox
  Replies (15) Good night (6105) Bad night (1533)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.

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  (716): I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together. http://tfl.nu/l7kg
  Replies (34) Good night (3161) Bad night (9893)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?

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  (623): Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub? http://tfl.nu/jp28
  Replies (5) Good night (2162) Bad night (808)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous

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  (308): this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous http://tfl.nu/2tix
  Replies (16) Good night (744) Bad night (2898)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight

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  (713): I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight http://tfl.nu/pekh
  Replies (14) Good night (1858) Bad night (1138)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil

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  (757): I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil http://tfl.nu/9nrx
  Replies (7) Good night (1007) Bad night (1121)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.

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  (318): Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun. http://tfl.nu/0u88
  Replies (7) Good night (500) Bad night (1264)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.

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  (469): HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK. http://tfl.nu/uhfo
  Replies (5) Good night (1400) Bad night (518)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard

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  (330): Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard http://tfl.nu/qth7
  Replies (2) Good night (211) Bad night (490)

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