trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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