seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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