what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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