Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
