I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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