He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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