She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
