I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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