I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
