We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
