SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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