I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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