She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
