porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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