When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
