sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
