im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Couch. On fire.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
