tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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