yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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