I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
