I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
