try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
