I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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