gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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