whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
