what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
