I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
