The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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