my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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