That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
