I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
