I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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