Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
