Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
