A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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