Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
