Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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