Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
