Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this

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  (250): This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this http://tfl.nu/tv14
  Replies (8) Good night (2470) Bad night (793)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.

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  (513): You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god. (513): and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon. http://tfl.nu/ae2p
  Replies (21) Good night (5563) Bad night (1115)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life

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  (604): omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life http://tfl.nu/up0q
  Replies (10) Good night (3319) Bad night (813)
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  (310): View more from California

  I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.

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  (310): I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen. http://tfl.nu/puzs
  Replies (27) Good night (1066) Bad night (11203)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.

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  (419): I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf. http://tfl.nu/4l78
  Replies (41) Good night (1796) Bad night (9561)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this

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  (516): I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this http://tfl.nu/xbb7
  Replies (21) Good night (1087) Bad night (4373)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant

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  (404): The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/hmmb
  Replies (8) Good night (846) Bad night (4021)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?

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  (801): What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's? http://tfl.nu/1yab
  Replies (9) Good night (1923) Bad night (1221)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.

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  (561): I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree. http://tfl.nu/yxk6
  Replies (11) Good night (1539) Bad night (559)
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  (310): View more from California

  Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again

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  (310): Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again http://tfl.nu/9kfj
  Replies (7) Good night (465) Bad night (1305)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume

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  (248): I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume http://tfl.nu/d1bc
  Replies (4) Good night (908) Bad night (1002)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages

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  (901): its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages http://tfl.nu/zo01
  Replies (9) Good night (736) Bad night (1249)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.

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  (952): First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale. http://tfl.nu/145n
  Replies (1) Good night (1054) Bad night (419)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.

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  (219): That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/gqrn
  Replies (3) Good night (366) Bad night (477)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed

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  (631): Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed http://tfl.nu/ruwh
  Replies (2) Good night (328) Bad night (191)

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