he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.