Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all

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  (407): so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all http://tfl.nu/8geg
  Replies (14) Good night (757) Bad night (2489)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.

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  (980): so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room. http://tfl.nu/bjdl
  Replies (5) Good night (3063) Bad night (1442)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  only you would photoshop your dick

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  (973): only you would photoshop your dick http://tfl.nu/yxwr
  Replies (10) Good night (1123) Bad night (4732)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

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  (201): Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one. http://tfl.nu/7onj
  Replies (36) Good night (8039) Bad night (910)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.

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  (305): Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin. http://tfl.nu/eiwf
  Replies (12) Good night (1156) Bad night (1481)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before

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  (480): I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before http://tfl.nu/7hf6
  Replies (12) Good night (952) Bad night (1712)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.

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  (402): You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair. http://tfl.nu/auy6
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (1162)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Brilliant thought; pill pong.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  What could go wrong?

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  (651): Brilliant thought; pill pong. (651): What could go wrong? http://tfl.nu/lofi
  Replies (12) Good night (999) Bad night (1240)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south

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  (205): I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south http://tfl.nu/kpax
  Replies (8) Good night (1700) Bad night (641)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet

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  (727): And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet http://tfl.nu/ztj3
  Replies (4) Good night (485) Bad night (727)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.

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  (623): That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party. http://tfl.nu/6ozh
  Replies (12) Good night (600) Bad night (841)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.

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  (859): We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot. http://tfl.nu/b8ei
  Replies (5) Good night (1026) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  (This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)

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  (330): (This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office) http://tfl.nu/5fmc
  Replies (9) Good night (860) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.

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  (425): I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it. http://tfl.nu/yofk
  Replies (1) Good night (1047) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect

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  (704): He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect http://tfl.nu/wh1c
  Replies (4) Good night (203) Bad night (460)

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