Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping

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  (724): Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping http://tfl.nu/9juf
  Replies (5) Good night (758) Bad night (1094)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab

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  (917): i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab http://tfl.nu/gssq
  Replies (8) Good night (3006) Bad night (807)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.

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  (602): no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself. http://tfl.nu/5qf3
  Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (3764)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza

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  (314): 10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza http://tfl.nu/0z5o
  Replies (35) Good night (7333) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.

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  (781): So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger. (603): Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat. http://tfl.nu/6067
  Replies (19) Good night (6725) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.

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  (313): I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city. http://tfl.nu/cnew
  Replies (9) Good night (1282) Bad night (2482)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.

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  (519): I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future. http://tfl.nu/3f9u
  Replies (4) Good night (1315) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  He won't sleep with me again until I commit...

  (1-320): View more from Minnesota

  Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.

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  (320): He won't sleep with me again until I commit... (1-320): Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick. http://tfl.nu/wb9n
  Replies (11) Good night (2053) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend

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  (+44): gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend http://tfl.nu/upf3
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.

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  (718): So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/to2r
  Replies (3) Good night (1188) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.

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  (248): Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience. http://tfl.nu/5ghs
  Replies (1) Good night (934) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!

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  (616): I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever! http://tfl.nu/7fus
  Replies (5) Good night (464) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.

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  (850): Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book. http://tfl.nu/62om
  Replies (2) Good night (920) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.

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  (404): Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not. http://tfl.nu/3nps
  Replies (2) Good night (281) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?

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  (541): I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night? http://tfl.nu/w38g
  Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (225)

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