also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?