She said her name was "party"
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
