too bad you live with your parents still
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!