Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  That's intense

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  (912) That's intense http://tfl.nu/r7sa
  Replies (18) Good night (1073) Bad night (961)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  He has such a weird drunk-voice.

  (1-417): View more from Missouri

  dude, he's deaf.

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  (417): He has such a weird drunk-voice. (1-417): dude, he's deaf. http://tfl.nu/4u2p
  Replies (23) Good night (946) Bad night (1640)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.

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  (210): I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it. http://tfl.nu/afso
  Replies (4) Good night (1637) Bad night (641)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I looked at my own cervix.

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  (713): I looked at my own cervix. http://tfl.nu/c8go
  Replies (24) Good night (1011) Bad night (2901)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.

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  (732): I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home. http://tfl.nu/01mk
  Replies (9) Good night (878) Bad night (3988)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?

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  (775): Why is the garage door in the middle of the street? http://tfl.nu/rc41
  Replies (13) Good night (4317) Bad night (1667)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him

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  (203): apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him http://tfl.nu/3qi4
  Replies (9) Good night (1111) Bad night (3952)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy

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  (601): i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy http://tfl.nu/7bad
  Replies (6) Good night (789) Bad night (2182)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!

  (386): View more from Florida

  Gravity is no match for my libido

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  (407): That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work! (386): Gravity is no match for my libido http://tfl.nu/l272
  Replies (2) Good night (1005) Bad night (427)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head

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  (734): I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head http://tfl.nu/48x4
  Replies (1) Good night (653) Bad night (384)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary

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  (480): Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary http://tfl.nu/ompd
  Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (607)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...

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  (716): Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them... http://tfl.nu/sjm1
  Replies (7) Good night (503) Bad night (737)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.

  (425): View more from Washington

  .... touche....

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  (206): I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection. (425): .... touche.... http://tfl.nu/xj9c
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (410)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year

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  (+61): My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year http://tfl.nu/vd1g
  Replies (0) Good night (587) Bad night (419)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.

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  (704): Our nipples touched last night. It was tender. http://tfl.nu/lb9p
  Replies (3) Good night (400) Bad night (157)

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