Buhtt sex?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
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