I wish I could punch you in the face.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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