We're like a lot better than the average bears
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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