weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
