Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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