just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
