Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
