He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's blow job season.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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