Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
