We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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