Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
