she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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