last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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