U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize