i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
