Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
