This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also, beer. Big fan.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
