If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
They took my balls.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
