i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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